My Friend’s True Colors
Blogged By: Low Hang Wei @ February 5th, 2007 - 2:38 amI’m not writing a drama in this post, since this really happened and I’m feeling really sad right now, so don’t dig in any further and ask if this is just a made-up story after reading about it. This happened when I was telling my good friend that I just joined Agloco and note that he’s the only one I talk to personally about it so far. I directed him to my blog and he asked me questions about it and why I supported the program, so I just answered honestly. After the end of our conversation, I thought he was not interested to join the program, so I didn’t persist.
Just to make sure, I went ahead to check if anyone signed up under me in Agloco and the answer is no, so I thought he simply didn’t want to join and I was fine with it. To make sure, I also checked my own tracker to see if anyone clicked on any Agloco links on my blog during that time and the answer was no too. Therefore, I was very sure that he didn’t want to sign up… or so I thought. I didn’t persist and think nothing of it, until a moment ago when I logged into friendster. I saw him promoting the program!
He did sign up after all, so I went to check the stats again but there were no traces that he had clicked on the links on my blog. Apparently, he did sign up, but chose not to sign up under me and I wondered why. I still trusted him at this time and thought maybe some of my Google Ads had confused him to sign up with them instead, although the ads are clearly separated from the content. I logged into my Google account and there were no clicks on any ads within the past 2 days, so it could not be that reason.
I still wanted to trust him and think that maybe Agloco was the one that did not credit me for the signup. However, I did use my own script to track clicks and tested it just minutes before, so I know the script is reliable. Also, I have been using the same script for years to track my links and they have never lied to me. Reality hit me hard and I figured my friend’s true colors. He had chose not to click on a simple link like this to sign up:
Sign up with Agloco by clicking here
Instead, he chose to close my site, go look up Agloco by himself, spending extra effort just not to give me credit for referring him. He rather sign up under someone else than sign up under me, his good buddy of a few years. I don’t know what’s his rationale for doing this and I’m probably too traumatized now to think of any good reasons. I did message him on MSN before I posted this, but he didn’t reply my messages. Also, I don’t want to accuse someone someone wrongly, so I made extremely sure I checked everything before posting.
I think back to what my current boss, a millionaire, said when he hired me: “When you’re on your way to success, your friends will be jealous and pull you back.” I refuse to believe that it happened to me so fast, when I’m not even achieving much success now. How many more friends will reveal their true colors if I really do get closer to success? I really cannot take anymore of this.
I know that I may not have the best personality in the world, but I always treat my friends truthfully and don’t mind going the extra mile to help them, so why did this happen to me? None of my questions will get answered, but I made up my mind to stop having contact with that friend. I’m really super lucky that I didn’t agree to do business with him when he approached me to. If he can do this to me over a free program, imagine how I’ll get screwed by him if I really pump money into a business with him.
He might become really successful one day, but I don’t think he will ever share his success with a friend. Also, note that it’s not just this incident alone, because I was interested in how he made money on auction sites during our National Service days and he was also sort of reluctant to give information. I respected him then, since it’s something he had taken pains to research, although if it was me, I would have been willing to share everything I know, even with a friend I don’t know well. What’s more, I believe he regards me as his close friend too, since he approached me to do business of all people, or maybe he just wanted to make use of me.
Regardless, I’m really glad that I got to know his true colors early, rather than when I really do start a business with him, which I did intend to before. For all other friends, I just want to assure you that I won’t let this single friend ruin my opinion of friendships. I still believe that friends should trust each other and help one another, just like how Suqin referred me to a job. I will still continue to trust my friends that we can march forward together and help one another in our life journey. Life is already hard enough having to face all the constant challenges in our work or studies and we don’t need to play friend-politics to make it even harder. As Adam Khoo puts it nicely, there are no self-made millionaires, there are only team-made millionaires. We definitely need good friends to push each other forward.
Please drop me some comments, whether you think that I over-reacted or just want to send me some words of encouragement. I really do need them.
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I typed the above like ten hours ago, but I didn’t want to publish yet, because the moment I publish, losing a friend is definite. I wanted to hang on to the little glimmer of hope that perhaps he had a good reason. Well, he chose to ignore me despite me asking a few times and I finally gave up. I didn’t mind him insulting me and calling me names all the time, but I can’t stand the thought that he don’t want my life to be better off. I thought we were friends, but guess I’m just too naive. The emotional hurt is simply too great for me to hang onto this any longer. I’ll just post this and mark an end to our friendship.
Blogged Under: Random Thoughts
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| « Agloco Might Help Us Make Money | My Brother Referred 8 People To Agloco In 2 Hours » |
February 5th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Sometimes in life we can’t understand the underlying reason of such actions. However, this is the reality that we chose not to accept. I have experienced such incidents before. But I believe that we’ll know the ‘reason’ sooner or later.
Anyway, it’s not worth your time and effort to care for some people who do not support or cherish you.
At least, you still have so many people who supported and care for you.
February 6th, 2007 at 12:29 am
better to make an enemy than a fren. keep contacts with him, but know how much u should trust him with.
February 6th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
prefer to stay anonymous
February 6th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Sounds more like an aquaintance than a freind
February 6th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Hmm.. So a single referrer caused so much hurt to my good friend. Probably i should have used the link from your site. Probably to me it didn’t matter which link is to be used cause no monetary gains will be obtained through my channels. If you have know me well enough, you should have known that all these things that i try is just for fun. I am not and internet fella like you and nothing will change. All this are just for the fun of it to try out what you always recommend. If it really made such a big impact and changed your whole opinion of me, than i guess the bond is not really that close. I do not like to get monetary stuff involved in a friendship and it will remain that way. =)
February 6th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
It has never been about apologies. I understand what you are coming at, and it’s obviously you are badly hurt by this. Obviously its about denial of credit to you. Probably its obvious that it is my fault to go through other links, but i guess i took it too lightly. Din know you will take it so seriously. It is not immediately that i decided to try what u have recommended. If you want the truth, then i will gladly inform you about it. It’s up to you an whoever is reading your blog to believe.
You told me about this shit the first thing you see me online. Asmy normal self, i went to see what you have up your sleeves again. So i simply browse through it roughly. After browsing your site, i surfed to other websites. For your info, not friendster. I logged into my emails and also managed my game account in utopia. While chatting with you simultaneously, unless you doubt my ability to surf and msn. It took at least 30 - 45 mins to finish all these. After which i was still chatting with you on msn and asking you questions about it cause simply the first reaction will not be go back to your blog and click on the link, but to type “www.agloco.com” in the browser to see if i can go to the site to read more about the good thing that you are so enthu about. I dunno if thats normal for other people or will others usually go back to the previous site to click on the link. Truthfully, if url i type is wrong, then i will go back to your blog to find the link. It din even occured to me about any stupid referrals/credit. So in the end, i read about the thing from the site and continued asking your personal opinions about it, since its bviously no diff whether i ask in msn or from your blog. Then the rest you should already have done your research. E.g. Posting in friendster.
Finally, i understand your great grievances of being deprived of your credit for being able to find this great opportunity and sharing it with everyone. I still do not like to discuss personal issues in public. For added information to you, when you msn me, i was playing a game in full screen. When msn is set to busy, i cannot here a msg. By the time i finish, i have to go to bed simply because i have to go to work. Its not like you never ignored me in msn before. =P
February 6th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
even an IT dumbo like me knows how a linked url looks like, e story is pretty unconvincing, if e ’stupid’ referrals/credit didnt occur to u, it’s highly unlikely u will promote your own link in friendster. using your link, common sense will have told u tt e link is used to refer credit, acting dumb doesnt work anymore when every1’s smart nowadays pretty boy.
February 6th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
Haha.. Jane, if you will probably try to read a whole story, you will read in depth and not the surface. that is also where miscommunications arises. I did not say that i do not how a referral link looks like. I only mentioned that when my natural instinct came into action, by typing a website for a link will never beat the convenience of typing the exact url straight. =)
Anyway, its not important at all if you believe. It is hw thats important. Anyway Jane, will you bother to go through the trouble to explain anything to a person not important to you? I think if the person is not significant, i wun even bother to post anything at this blog. Because hw will probably know that i am not the kind who goes around reading other people’s blogs. I got better things to do with my time. =)
February 7th, 2007 at 5:23 am
Wow this sounds like a bad case of albilene effect.
Hmm looking at both perspectives I would say that this is really a misunderstanding.
I have never met faithboy24 so I don’t know what he’s thinking but from what he said it seems that perhaps he either didn’t feel comfortable signing up under someone’s name immediately or that he just wanted to check out the validity of the website first.
But of course we know Hangwei has set a stringent but not impossible standard for himself, which is to become a millionaire (or at least richer than now) in 4 years’ time. So it could be that he believed Agloco (like other internet marketing firms) was one of a means to it and perhaps faithboy24 (and the rest of us) as friends might want to help him achieve that.
Friends that lasts more than a year are hard to find, those that lasts fore more than 2 are even harder and those that lasts 3 you must cherish them.
God bless all.
P.S. Hangwei this is the first comment I had on your blog hope you don’t mind my tone if it sounds bad to you as well as my speculations from extrapolated information.
March 1st, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Very nice site! Good work.